BEING PRESENT IN THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD: A time of learning and growth

The postpartum period occurs during the first three months after giving birth, also called the fourth trimester. Being present or living in the moment can be a challenging task when you have just given birth. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a caesarean section, your body needs good rest and recovery.

The lack of sleep, physical exhaustion, and hormonal fluctuations in the first weeks of the postpartum period make you experience a roller coaster of emotions. One moment you may be basking in the warmth of your baby, and the next moment you may be overwhelmed by feelings of sadness and anxiety.

All these emotions can make us fear the postpartum period, with thoughts running through our minds such as: “My life will remain like this forever!”, “When will this phase end?” or “Why hasn’t anyone told me how hard this is?” All these thoughts prevent you from being present with your baby.

So how can you live mindfully and enjoy the postpartum period?

5 tips for the postpartum period

Build a good support system

In my experience as a mother and postpartum nurse, I would say that having a good support system is an important requirement for a smooth transition to motherhood. I would advise a new mother to think about who they want to be part of their support system before their baby arrives. For example, it could be your partner, your mother, a good friend or a neighbor.

Each person should be someone you can trust to watch your baby in your absence while you take a nap or shower. It should be someone who can help with household chores or prepare a hot meal. Getting good rest and eating well can go a long way toward enjoying these precious newborn days.

Don’t compare your life with that of others

You might be scrolling through your phone during a late-night feeding and come across a social media post about a mom who has a frozen stash of breast milk while you’re struggling with low milk supply. You may still see a post where someone talks about how her baby is sleeping through the night, while you haven’t had undisturbed sleep in weeks.

See where I’m going with this? Social media can be a great tool for connecting with other moms, but it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparison. You may have heard the famous quote often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and this couldn’t be more true than during the postpartum period.

In order to be present and enjoy your new baby, you must accept that every baby-and-mother duo is unique. The beauty of the postpartum period lies in exploring your new identity as a mother and finding solutions that suit your baby’s unique personality.

Look for credible sources of information

While social media is filled with parenting tips and how-tos, I encourage you to look for credible sources of information to help guide you through the postpartum period. Most provincial or state government health systems have resources that counsel families on various newborn topics. The advantage of using these sources is that you can confidently follow the most current advice.

This tip also makes you feel more present with your baby, because you don’t have to spend time searching the internet for solutions. You will also feel reassured because you will realize that when a problem arises, you know exactly where to find the answer.

Let go of expectations

The slogan of motherhood should be, “Expect the unexpected.” From childbirth to breastfeeding, everything usually doesn’t go according to plan. And that’s okay. To give you an example, a mother may decide to exclusively breastfeed her baby, but then experience low milk production. With the help of a lactation consultant, this mother can achieve the goal of exclusively breastfeeding her baby. However, if her milk supply remains low, she will need to supplement her baby with formula.

The problem here does not lie in supplementing with formula, but rather in the fact that the mother does not have control over her body in the way she expected. This can cause the mother to feel guilty for not achieving her original goal.

Learning to let go of certain expectations like these can help you open up to the possibility of living mindfully, as it helps shift the focus from negative thoughts. Letting go can also help shift the focus to the solution, instead of leaving it on the problem.

Ask for help

It is important to know that after giving birth there will come a time when you will need to ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, make sure you lean on your support system for help. You may experience emotional highs and lows, sometimes called the “baby blues,” but overall you should be able to live consciously and appreciate this special time.

If you feel like it’s very difficult to get out of emotional lows, especially if you feel anger or stress or have trouble bonding with your baby, then you may be suffering from postpartum depression (PPD ). If you suspect you have PPD, seek help from your doctor; They can arrange a care plan to help you through this phase of motherhood.

The postpartum period is a time full of learning and growth, so it’s best to take it slowly. I hope that by using these tips you will find it easier to live in the moment and enjoy your beautiful family.

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