Often in the search for acceptance and the fear of disappointment, it is all too easy to lose sight of who we are at our core. This realization struck me as I was preparing for a podcast that asked a simple but deeply introspective question: When did you realize you weren’t being true to yourself?
As I thought about this question, I realized that there have honestly been many instances in my life where I have found myself straying from my authentic self.
The need to be liked and not disappoint others can often lead us down a path where we become chameleons, constantly changing color to match our surroundings. This was my reality for the longest time, especially during my formative years.
“Be true to yourself,” a quote from William Shakespeare, captures the essence of authentic living. Still, sticking to this saying has been one of my biggest challenges.
Living inauthentically, disconnected from our true selves, leads to behavior that conflicts with our top values. In my late teens, I met someone I thought was my soulmate and began a long-term relationship that over time I realized was fundamentally flawed. Despite the superficial happiness, a deep-seated unhappiness raged within. At that point in my life, I wasn’t sure of my true identity, beyond the facade of pleasing others and avoiding disappointment – although, admittedly, not without moments of rebellion.
The toll of a life out of alignment is immeasurable. It can cause problems on multiple levels, affecting your mental, emotional and sometimes even physical well-being. Life is too precious to be lived in an inauthentic way. The fulfillment that comes from living in alignment with our true selves is unparalleled.
It is important to regularly ask yourself the question: are there times when I am not living true to myself? Do I wear a mask for the sake of others? The frequency and impact of these moments can be telling about how aligned you are with your authentic self. The feelings that arise from these reflections can guide your core values.
Being firmly grounded in your values will give you the strength needed to live in accordance with who you really are. This is not without challenges. Yet it is one of the most rewarding paths you can take. It leads to a life full of purpose and true happiness and much less confusion!
I encourage you to think about this and remove your mask(s). It’s liberating!
