“Your heart is as big as an ocean. Go and discover yourself in its hidden depths.” ~ Rumi
Happy February or Self Love month darlings! I know I know, it should be valentines this and valentines that everywhere. Indispensable, even if you don’t celebrate the day.
Yesterday, while I was shopping, a friend asked, “What are you getting for Valentine’s Day? What gifts do you give on Valentine’s Day?” I replied, “Every year I give myself a gift on Valentine’s Day.” She looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. I excitedly shouted at her, “Self love baby!”
Self-love is one of my favorite topics to talk about. One of the reasons I love talking about it so much is because it’s such a healthy topic and also because it’s different for everyone. The BEST thing about it is that it allows for massive inner healing shifts.
So, How are we going to love ourselves in that healing way? Where do we start the journey to self-love?
Although it seems so simple and obvious – self-care is actually the simplest and easiest way to nurture self-love. This was not obvious to me growing up.
I grew up in a household where both my parents worked hard to make ends meet. For them there was little time for rest and relaxation. It wasn’t until I grew up and was almost an adult that I saw my mom and dad taking the time to take care of themselves. But that too was a requirement for the new and improved social status that had to be maintained. The beautiful house and wonderful life then were not only because it provided a comfortable and safe place, but also because of the social status. Which still left them constantly tired and exhausted.
I know that as parents they did their best to give us a good life, but that came at a price. The price was their sanity and peace of mind. And even though the house was big and things were beautiful, there was no time or energy to actually love or feel loved. Fortunately, my siblings and I were very close, so that love helped us through so many challenges.
Understanding self-love
When you grow up in such an environment, you have no idea what self-love is. As I began my deep dive into all things healing and mental health, I came across these new concepts. By then I was laughing and shying away from self-love because it was seriously self-indulgent and selfish. It took me years to reach this space of unapologetic self-love and realize how necessary it is on this healing journey.
When I moved and started living my life in the world, I really discovered the magic of self-care – the thought of filling your day with things you loved or found intentionally relaxing – was so foreign to me. So in between divorce proceedings and some serious heartbreak, I found self-care. I started doing things that I enjoyed, that I enjoyed, that I found relaxing.
Self-care is self-love
For me, self-care was literally the first and easiest step to self-love and healing.
Learning that I can do kind and loving things for myself, just to make myself happy and feel loved? That changed my life. It made me feel like my happiness was in my hands, and not in anyone else’s. It made me feel like I was the beginning of my own life (not in an indulgent way, but more in a self-affirming and self-respecting way)
A few days ago I was sharing with someone that “Sometimes self-love is TV, pajamas, and popcorn” and that I was so excited to start the new season of Outlander (I’m currently on season 6!).
While self-care is not just now That, the intention is to put myself first and prioritize my needs over everything else, that’s BIG for me.
That I intentionally put down my phone, turn off my laptop, relieve myself of responsibility for a few hours, get into my cozy home jam and make popcorn and be present while watching something…. It doesn’t happen as often as it should.
I work all the time. I have trouble taking breaks and allowing rest. I feel like I always have to be ‘on’. (Even though I know better!) I’m the queen of multitasking, usually when I’m watching TV I’m doing something else at the same time. TV and popcorn were my self-care that day and I loved every moment of that self-loving energy.
Finally
I don’t care what your self-care looks like on a daily basis. What matters to me is that you do it and that you make time for things that matter you feel good for you or be good for you.
Self-care is different for everyone and that’s okay. Simply allow yourself to nurture self-love with small acts of self-care every day.
This is the 1st article in a series of articles about everything that has to do with self-love that will appear every few days through February, also known as Self-Love Month, here on Positive Provocations. Make sure that subscribe below so you get NEW Articles in your inbox as soon as I hit publish.
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Ask:What is your favorite act of self-care? Share your uniqueness in the comments. I like to learn from you🩷
1st photo by Tranmautritam op Pexels.com
