It’s been almost two weeks since I heard the results of my heart scan and I have yet to figure out exactly what is going on. My doctor has kept quiet, leading me to believe that, despite the harsh wording in the patient information guide they provide with the results, I am probably not on the brink of death. The plaque in my arteries probably developed over a longer period of time and has therefore been there for years. And I think back to some of my walks last summer, in the extreme heat and humidity, often 14 miles or more, once more than 20 miles, and all done without any heart problems (or dropping dead).
And over the past few years, I’ve really worked my butt off in the garden, moving through huge patches of trees, loads of dirt and large rocks – all without any sign that my heart might be struggling. I did a cardio stress test sometime after I turned 50, which came out fine. (The test was done because, being adopted, I have no family medical history, so he just knew for sure.)
Now I know that you can be in excellent cardiovascular fitness and still die of heart disease; witness Jim Fixx. He was a man who started jogging to get fit. At one point he weighed over 90kg and smoked two packs a day. He started running for fitness and weight loss and then wrote about it. Through his books, he eventually became the person who started the jogging craze in America and popularized running for fitness. He died of a heart attack while running at the age of 52. One coronary artery was 95% blocked, another 85% and a third 70%.
His story reminds me that you can feel great, perform very well, never feel or notice anything during extreme stress and exertion, and then your life is over in an instant – like a light switch being flipped. So I’m confused about all this. Despite the varying and often contradictory interpretations of Cicero’s story, I feel like the sword of Damocles now hangs over my head. That the precious thin ponytail hair that hung that sword above me could suddenly break anytime, anywhere. And this is something that I have never considered a valid or viable fear in my lifetime. I never considered that my heart could be the weak link to bring me down; I have always prided myself on my fitness and ability to do amazing and extreme exercises. So this news shocked me.
And of course the news is why I immediately agreed to the statin. While I remain convinced that my arterial buildup is from years ago, and that my current lifestyle of eating and walking is actually helping me and not harming me, I obviously need to take my somewhat high cholesterol levels into account and pay attention to them. And I am. However, I hate the side effects of the statin; I often find myself feeling a little dizzy or light-headed (maybe foggy) throughout the day. I’m also incredibly tired, I often feel like I could fall asleep in seconds if I just sat down and let it. But a small price to pay for relative peace of mind.
I have analyzed the test results and concluded that four arteries were examined as part of this test. Each is examined for plaque and assigned a score. The four scores are combined for a final test score. They generally summarize that final score by level; below 100, your arteries are relatively free of plaques and you are at very low risk. If your score is between 100 and 300, it means you have plaque buildup and are at moderate risk for heart disease. A score above 300 is a sign of extensive disease and significant risk. Just a reminder: my score was 548, so….
However, when I look at my results, I see that one artery had a score of 375; a second came in at 111, and the last two were 33 and 29. So one artery is responsible for two-thirds of my score; If that one artery entered the same as the second, my score would have been under 300 and would have painted a completely different picture. But it is what it is.
The test cannot determine whether you have a blockage; it only “sees” plaque buildup. Determining if there is a blockage will require other tests and my doctor is still determining what, if anything, is needed. Personally, I am now in a place where I really long for peace. I’m upset and need some kind of life ring, some reassurance from a doctor that even though that one blood vessel has a lot of plaque, there is no blockage and there is no cause for concern.
Since the beginning of this post, two things have happened: I went on a 20-mile walk and I cleared my driveway of the heaviest, wettest snow imaginable. And I didn’t die during either event – or even feel any ill effects. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m probably as healthy as I have been for the past 20 or even 30 years, but back then I didn’t know about the plaque. I feel great (despite the side effects of medications) and although I was honestly a little scared while tackling that miserable heavy snow, I finished strong and without any real physical discomfort. I think I’m editing this artery scan and filing it under things I probably should know but still wish I didn’t!
Security; Is that a really valid feeling? For example, I always, always, always felt safe while walking and shoveling. Always, that is, until I learned that plaque had formed in my coronary artery. And then I suddenly felt weak and vulnerable. I’m slowly working through that, but it has definitely disrupted my sense of safety and security while doing both activities.
So what is safety? I’m sorry to say, but it’s mostly a figment of our imagination; a mentality; a cognitive sedative that allows us to relax. Every time we drive on a highway, there is a chance of death. But most of us drive every day and rarely see accidents. And even more rarely are we one. But if you witness a nasty accident, or worse – end up in a nasty wreck, your sense of safety will be significantly diminished and you will be reluctant to drive the next time you get behind the wheel. Because the risk is real. But we minimize it because it allows us to relax and enjoy the activity.
Many of us fear that an intruder will break into our home. Depending on where you live and how rare or common burglaries are, you may want to get a dog, install stronger locks, invest in an alarm system, buy a gun, install cameras, or take similar steps in an attempt to mitigate the effects of the burglary. risk. And whether you settle for just the dog, or purchase the dog, the gun, the cameras and everything else depends entirely on your own internal sense of security. Once you have identified the risk and taken a step (or steps) to combat that risk, stop taking steps as soon as you feel safe.
And that basically defines safety; You convince yourself that you have done everything necessary to ensure your safety and that it is okay to relax, let your guard down and not worry. Think again about my case – that plaque has probably been in my arteries for years without me knowing anything about it – so of course I never worried about it. I felt safe shoveling heavy, wet snow; I felt safe walking 15 or 20 miles. Never felt worried or anxious that I was in danger. But… I was in danger. I just never knew. And you can’t be afraid of a risk you don’t know about. What’s that old saying? “Ignorance is bliss.” Stay healthy, dear reader!
