I came across someone I knew on Facebook; Well, that’s not entirely correct. I had been to two seminars she had given, and I had interacted with her during both seminars. So when I came across her on Facebook, I wanted to ‘friend’ her because I enjoyed both presentations she gave. She’s also from the area, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have someone associated with her.
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A few days later she wrote back asking if she could know me and why I asked her to accept me as a friend. I was a bit surprised because I’m not necessarily unknown in my area, but I’m not overly famous either. My photo was attached to my submission to her, and the fact is that she probably sees few black people at any of her presentations in this city; I’ve always been the only one in her audience. Still, I put that aside and responded to her, told her who I was, and she accepted me into her circle.
The thing is, I couldn’t get overly angry at her for not remembering who I was because I tend to suffer from the same thing. If I haven’t worked with someone for a while, or if I haven’t had a big experience that makes me remember someone, I just can’t remember that person. I used to be able to say that I never forgot a face when I was younger; that is no longer the case. Heck, I have an amnesia here and there when it comes to personally calling someone by their name, even if I’ve known them for years. The curse of aging. LOL
I constantly have people greet me by name and I have no idea who they are or how I should know them. That worries me, as someone who talks about leadership and customer service, because I think if I expect people to remember me because I’m supposed to be unique, shouldn’t I remember everyone else because we’re all unique?
Here is the overwhelming truth; I’m not going to remember everyone, and everyone isn’t going to remember me… or you. You’re also not going to remember everyone. It’s literally impossible to do unless you live in a closed society.
There was a lady I knew who taught memory classes to Dale Carnegie in the mid-2000s. I knew her name because I had taken a few courses, and I also remembered her because of her hair; I can’t tell you why. 🙂 One day I saw her at a local event in the city of Syracuse. She was teaching some class, and I was just walking around looking at things and saw her in there. When class was over, she came out with everyone else and I greeted her by name. She looked at me with a brief recognition of my face, but could not remember my name. She was younger than me, learned memory tricks, and I am “unique” in this area; If she couldn’t remember me, what was I supposed to do about my memory?
If people can’t remember you, it means by extension that they may have trouble remembering other things. My ex liked to say that people only remember what they want to remember. I’ve turned it around to say that people remember what they need for that time, and other things may take a while for it to manifest. How many times have you forgotten to call someone, only to have the memory pop up while something else is going on? That’s just how memory works.
My general point is that if you want people to remember you or the things you say, you have to find a way to make it memorable so they can’t forget it. Make something boring and even you will eventually forget it. Figure out what works for you and then try it on others.
If that doesn’t work, you have two options. One of these is to ask others what helps them remember things and follow that route. Two…learn to live with it, because it happens to all of us at one time or another.
It’s never about the process; it’s about success, or being as successful as possible. Try to remember this article; I bet you won’t remember it in a few days, and I’ll try not to get depressed about it. 🙂
Reference By: www.ttmitchellconsulting.com
