We all love a good self-discovery question. Are you a morning person or an evening person? A buyer or a sub-buyer? A lover of simplicity or a lover of abundance? Do you prefer competition or cooperation?
When we know ourselves, we can tailor our environment, our schedules, and our choices to suit our own nature. It is easier to change our environment than ourselves.
Self-knowledge is especially useful as we try to make progress on our goals so that we can set ourselves up for success.
Here’s a useful question: When you do something well, what type of gold star do you value most?
Different types of rewards and recognition work for different people.
This is important because feelings of recognition and satisfaction help us to keep striving.
- It’s satisfying to think about the progress we’ve made.
- It is satisfying when others recognize our efforts.
If we always think about our To do list, we can feel discouraged and overwhelmed. If we take a moment to enjoy our ta-da list, we get the energy to continue.
But people differ in the types of gold stars that work for them.
When you identify what gives you the most satisfaction, you can prepare to get it.
Once you’ve made progress on a goal, what form of gold stars gives you the most satisfaction?
- Praise seeker: If you are a fan of the “Five love languages‘, you know ‘Words of Affirmation’ (which is my personal love language)
- Badge accumulator: You look for outward recognition of mastery, such as a job title, a certificate, a diploma, a publication
- Trophy Hunter: You want a real gold star, a physical trophy, Scout badges, a medal, a toy deal
- Chain builder: You get satisfaction when you see your streak getting longer because you “don’t break the chain”
- Keepsake collector: You collect a memento of something you crossed off the list, such as keeping a playbill from every play you attend or a matchbook from every restaurant you ate at on vacation
- Likes collector: You want social media engagement
- Party planner: You love to celebrate with a social event, a festive dinner, a party
- Pat-on-the-backer: You enjoy a literal pat on the back, handshake, fist bump, high-five
- Reward taker: Rewards are very, very tricky! Rewards often backfire! instead, I recommend that you…
- Treat taker: Give yourself plenty of healthy treats whenever you feel like you need a little boost while you’re making an effort to achieve a goal; don’t wait until you earn it. Here are some suggestions for healthy treats)
Once you identify your favorite type of gold star, you can be sure to get it.
For example, if you have a Chain builderyou would the Don’t break the chain tracker to track an important action, such as taking your medication every day.
If you have a Badge accumulatoryou could use the Happierâ„¢ app and receive badges for different types of challenges and goals. Getting these badges will help you stick to an important habit, like writing every day in 2024 #Write24in24.
If you have a Party planneryou might remind yourself that even though it’s a lot of work to plan that celebratory dinner after you run the 5K, it will give you energy to train for another race.
The better we know ourselves, the more effectively we can organize our lives to help us become happier, healthier, more productive and more creative.
And when we understand that other people may prefer a different form of recognition, we can tailor our approach to them. For example, if I know that my child has a Trophy hunterI could make some kind of ‘trophy’ as a reward for ‘Great positive attitude during a holiday when he got sick and couldn’t do anything fun.’
Which ‘gold star’ category works for you? What categories have I overlooked?
