Some years ago the desire to know, to merge with the Divine Beloved was so strong within me that I knew that without that union, nothing else would ever be enough. And so I wrote this prayer:
Lover
Oh to feel your touch of grace
I long for your embrace of compassion
Take me to yourself
Lose me in the folds of your sacred garments
Free me from these chains of desire
And let me dive into the cauldron of your perfect heart
There to melt in the ecstasy of your divinity
And rest forever in your eternal flame
I knew what I was asking for was a lot. More than a lot. It was everything. And I knew the price was high. The price was everything. And that was more than a little scary. And so the addendum to my prayer was “Whatever it takes… and please help me mean it.And so I waited…to mean it.
At the beginning of last year I realized that the time had come. I meant it. I was completely there. Absolutely. My prayer now was “No matter what‘without the caveat. I was ready and willing. And so began a remarkable year of intense, sometimes painful, often frightening, often joyful, and consistently miraculous removal of everything blocking my experience of the sacred love that breathes life into us with every breath.
A detailed account is more than a blog post can contain, but there was a moment a few months into the year that opened the door for everything that followed. There are moments that we all experience that transcend all thought, all language, all understanding. This was one of those moments, sudden and unexpected. The only word I can think of to describe it is rapture. It was a glimpse of what lies beyond all illusions. It was beautiful. And I am grateful.
The Beloved came for me
Covered me with soft lip kisses
And consumed me in a fiery embrace
All my desire was satisfied
I grew tremendously in beautiful wholeness
Beyond the reach of reason
Blazing bright glory
