My mother’s sad sighs, which seep through the thin walls of our home, tell a story that is all too familiar. On the phone, my grandmother discusses the vital money she needs for medicine, or the pending payments on my mother’s half-finished house in Mexico. A house that she has been waiting to complete and live in for twenty years. It is at these times when we consider reassessing our own needs to ensure rent is paid on time. These are realities that feed into the relentless cycle of hardship for undocumented immigrants, who are subject to low wages and face barriers to government assistance. Faced with these financial challenges, U.S.-born children must grapple with the decision to pursue their dreams or those of their parents.
The United States is over 11.2 million immigrants with the motivating pursuit to build a better life, many of whom form families. 1 in 5 Latinos are enrolled in postsecondary institutions in 2020. With approx 71% not registered because in most cases they have to work to support their families. Migrant children become the only hope for their families in breaking the generational chains of poverty. Many were raised by parents who dropped out of primary school and arrived without knowing English. The “escape route” consists of working full-time or being dependent on education.
Ashley Pirir Gomez, a third-year, first-generation college student studying Social Welfare at the University of California, Berkeley, asserts that as an older sister, “I feel like I have to lead by example because I want them to know that it is possible for them to make it.”
Like Pirir, I am also a student navigating the complexities of higher education while carrying the weight of my own standards. I often wonder if my decision to study communications was the right route. “Pays well?” my family asks. Now I fight with myself and wonder if this path was indeed selfish.
“I wanted to write creatively.” Ultimately, she chose a career that could pay the bills. “I was very discouraged about becoming an author… Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t followed that advice.” says Pirir.
Am I a disappointment who may not be able to climb the same socio-economic ladder as an engineer? Have I wasted my parents’ sacrifice? My mother was supportive of my educational journey and we talked about what it would be like once she gained citizenship. ““I want to work where I take care of the elderly,” is what she always emphasizes. Pursuing a job that involves the kindness of her heart. She has always talked about hoping to one day be part of the stepping stone to owning a home in the US. This is the greatest aspect of the American dream – one that 31% of the population is undocumented was able to fulfill in 2019. How long would that take for me?
Because most undocumented parents do not have the privilege of education, most first-generation students must forge their own path and teach themselves the tools they need to succeed. How to prepare for the SAT and interviews, or explore internship opportunities. If I could overcome that, I often defined it as luck, but I was still no expert. I put myself in a cycle where trust was an issue and failure was not an option. If my education were in jeopardy, the prospect of losing my scholarship would only add additional pressure.
Many first-generation college students face the monstrosity of imposter syndrome when trying to advance. McLean Hospital describes it as the experience of “repeated feelings or thoughts that they are incompetent or not good enough.” But it’s more than just this ‘incompetent’ feeling about ourselves. When I started at UC Berkeley, I was surrounded by a sea of faces that rarely reflected my own, which planted seeds of doubt and hesitation in me. Most students had a background of attending top-ranked private or boarding schools or had college-educated parents. They can easily move forward thanks to the connections their families have, and can withstand the competitive atmosphere of Berkeley. Because I had to overcome these challenges and work twice as hard, I made sure my parents only witnessed what was worth its weight in gold. Every opportunity I didn’t take felt like I was affecting my family’s future.
How are undocumented families supposed to navigate a system that often keeps them from earning enough to live, let alone achieve their American dreams? This is a system that broke families and fueled my childhood with arguments and endless stress when it came to money. These frictions ultimately put me in this position where my entire family relies on me. This responsibility forced me to grow up quickly. I have a deep desire to lift my parents out of poverty, but that desire conflicts with my personal desire to follow my dreams. The harsh reality is that no matter what I choose, this kind of luxury is simply out of reach for many of us, no matter what we do.
Congress must work to create a path to citizenship and protections for all undocumented families, allowing them to reach their full potential and get better jobs with higher wages. It pains me to see my mother, let alone work two jobs, as I come home to her third shift as a parent. Undocumented people have sacrificed so much and deserve a future where they can truly thrive.
